What a night :(

Well, I am fairly certain that last night I had the worst sleep in the history of the world…ever. That is saying a lot, considering I have had problems sleeping since a was a little girl. I can honestly say I have never experienced this before though 😦

Everything was normal when I went to bed, normal time, tired, no surprises there. I dropped off OK, but sometime in the dead of night I woke up..and here’s the weird part. I woke up halfway through a crying jag! I must have been dreaming of Mum, as she was definitely what was on my mind when I woke. I woke with tears streaming down my face, nose running, head aching, full-scale crying, and just couldn’t stop. It took ages for me to calm down and go back to sleep. Then a little while later, it happened again. Only this time it was worse 😦  Needless to say, after that there was no way I was falling back to sleep.

I’ve never had this happen before. It’s a horrible feeling. I felt so helpless, and out of control. I didn’t have any emotional resources to calm myself, as my brain was still sleeping, and it felt like I was in shock.

I can only assume that things are playing on my mind, as Mum’s estate is nearing finalization. Things are slowly wrapping up. I have been feeling very settled while awake though, and coping really well. I guess my subconscious has other ideas 😦

I don’t want to go to work today..at all. I wonder if I can get away with declaring a ‘mental health day’?

 

 

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2 thoughts on “What a night :(

  1. You poor thing, how awful! I’ve never had that happen, but I do have nightmares about my mom. They are less frequent now than they used to be, but they are always intense and upsetting. I feel for you!

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    • I dream about Mum a lot, and always find I wake up sad and upset. This however was a totally new (and horrible) thing. So intense.
      It hasn’t happened again, although I’m not sleeping much at all.
      i really hope it was a one off!

      Like

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