How Do You Make Friends As An Adult??

Well, today is my birthday.

I didn’t really want to make a fuss of it, mostly because it hasn’t been a great year, and because I worried that if I did something to celebrate nobody would show up. (It has happened before, my 30th birthday BBQ I had 2 neighbors show up. Yay for me!!)

However I have been feeling down lately, and I thought a night of laughs with a few drinks might be just the thing I needed. A good friend suggested it, and said she would definitely be there. So I figured hey, why not. I invited the few friends I have, my husband invited some of his. I started to look forward to it, even bought a dress. Here’s the thing, very few people are now coming, even the good friend has cancelled. I will be lucky if 5 people show, and they are really my husbands friends, not mine.

Which leaves me wondering..why don’t I have any friends? Why do I find it so hard to connect to people?

I’ve always been the type of girl who has 1 or 2 close friends, that’s it. Don’t get me wrong, most people like me. I am friendly, I chat to everyone…all that jazz. I just don’t seem to be able to bridge the gap between that and true friendship.

It probably doesn’t help that I live in a very transient town, with lots of ‘clique’s’. It feels as though once you put in the hard yards, and make a halfway decent friend, they move.

So what am I doing wrong????

I am friendly, mostly polite, but I am not a sickly-sweet angel. I help others and truly care about people. People often tell me I have a great smile and a fun laugh. They say I am kind and genuine. They say I am a good person.

So what’s the deal? I find it hard to put myself out there. Hard to make the first move. I have always been a little shy.

But how did I get to be 37 years old, and still not have enough friends for a drinks and nibbles night?

How do other people do it? How do they make it look so easy? They seem able to move around and still always have a group, however small. Why can’t I do that?

If anyone has any suggestions I would love to hear them.

How to you make friends as an adult?


3 thoughts on “How Do You Make Friends As An Adult??

  1. Lovely post. Reminded me of myself. I think some people are more “private” than others. A friend is a great treasure that few people really have. People have acquaintances mostly – or work mates, church mates, hobby mates, shared experience mates, That’s what we see with people who have lots of friends. They just know a lot of people! They are not let in to our “private” selves. A friend is someone you can count the number of with the thumb of one hand!



    Liked by 1 person

  2. Happy Birthday!

    First, you are married? So so many single people want to know how you accomplished that! You have a best friend!

    Secondly, I am an introvert, so I am definitely not the expert in the friend making field. I would really suggest you ask my seven year old daughter. She has never met anyone that wasn’t her friend!

    But my last suggestion is this. Sounds like YOU want friends for YOU. It’s not that you are thinking about BEING a friend or thinking about people that NEED YOU! Look for someone else that is lonely, volunteer at a food bank, just look around you. The “country club” may not be looking for new “members” but trust me, the “world” needs YOU!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I could have written this post myself. It is really hard! I have lost some great friends to moves, and it’s hard to get that “magic fit” back. I personally don’t get out much with everything going on in my life, and I feel like once your kids get past baby age, there aren’t really moms groups or that kind of thing that allow for easy mixing and meeting. So that said, I don’t have much advice, but I certainly sympathize. Happy belated birthday!

    Liked by 1 person

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