Well, today is my birthday.
I didn’t really want to make a fuss of it, mostly because it hasn’t been a great year, and because I worried that if I did something to celebrate nobody would show up. (It has happened before, my 30th birthday BBQ I had 2 neighbors show up. Yay for me!!)
However I have been feeling down lately, and I thought a night of laughs with a few drinks might be just the thing I needed. A good friend suggested it, and said she would definitely be there. So I figured hey, why not. I invited the few friends I have, my husband invited some of his. I started to look forward to it, even bought a dress. Here’s the thing, very few people are now coming, even the good friend has cancelled. I will be lucky if 5 people show, and they are really my husbands friends, not mine.
Which leaves me wondering..why don’t I have any friends? Why do I find it so hard to connect to people?
I’ve always been the type of girl who has 1 or 2 close friends, that’s it. Don’t get me wrong, most people like me. I am friendly, I chat to everyone…all that jazz. I just don’t seem to be able to bridge the gap between that and true friendship.
It probably doesn’t help that I live in a very transient town, with lots of ‘clique’s’. It feels as though once you put in the hard yards, and make a halfway decent friend, they move.
So what am I doing wrong????
I am friendly, mostly polite, but I am not a sickly-sweet angel. I help others and truly care about people. People often tell me I have a great smile and a fun laugh. They say I am kind and genuine. They say I am a good person.
So what’s the deal? I find it hard to put myself out there. Hard to make the first move. I have always been a little shy.
But how did I get to be 37 years old, and still not have enough friends for a drinks and nibbles night?
How do other people do it? How do they make it look so easy? They seem able to move around and still always have a group, however small. Why can’t I do that?
If anyone has any suggestions I would love to hear them.
How to you make friends as an adult?