Holding a grudge takes vital energy away from other, far more important areas of life, and bitterness is a cold, hard pill to swallow.

Some things, some people, you need to just let go.

I have been working on this lately. Coming to terms with events that happened a few years back. Things that were the result of a lifetime of built up tensions. Trying to figure out how two people, raised in the same house, can see things so very differently. Can be so very different. Can become so far apart.

Many things have been done over the years, hurtful words have been spoken. Wounds have been made, and healed over, only to be roughly ripped open again. And again. And again.

There comes a time when for everyone’s sanity things just have to stop.

So they did. We cut each other off. Both for our own reasons, both believing it is the best thing. I still believe staying apart is healthiest for both of us. But man it really hurts sometimes. Knowing life is going on, but I’m not a part of it. Not being able to see my nephews grow. My boy missing out on growing up with his cousins. Not being invited to my only sisters wedding.

Nothing can be done about it, we have a toxic relationship. Both of us are happier and less stressed without the other.

However knowing that doesn’t stop the pain

 

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